Social Intelligence by Matthew Atagame

The objectives of this topic are:
1. To help us understand why study and what this concept is all about
2. To help us understands how it relates to us as believers in Jesus Christ
3. To teach us how to develop and apply it to our lives


Every human being is wired to connect, and a healthy social intelligence can improve our lives, health, businesses and endeavors. Social intelligence is an antidote to depression, weak relationships, loneliness, and stress. (Proverbs 27:17 TLB)

Impact cannot be successful without a healthy social intelligence.  Gen. 40:3-6 (KJV)

Thus, expanding the kingdom influence on the face of the earth is at the mercy of our social intelligence. Matt. 5:13-16 MSG

We live in a society and come in contact with people of different thoughts, and personalities daily. We experience happiness, sorrow, misunderstandings, agreement, quarrels, and other emotions. If we don’t know how to handle our feelings, we will tend to avoid them and that will make us appear to be unfriendly to those people as well, many of whom could be important people in our lives.

Social intelligence helps everyone to create a balance in relationships between the physical world and the virtual world. It takes social intelligence to deal with the most complex of God’s creation – man.


Social means relating to or involving activities in which people spend time talking to each other or doing enjoyable things together; liking to be with and talk to people (MWD) Acts 2:26. And Intelligence is the ability to learn or understand things or to deal with new or difficult situations (MWD) Dan 1:17

SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE is rooted in Christ, the Holy Spirit and God’s word- Col. 4:5-6 (ERV/MSG)

Social intelligence is:

1. The skilful wisdom of getting along with people.  Heb. 12:14 (MGS)

2. The skillfull wisdom of addressing individual differences positively, instead of avoiding them and running away from them – 2 Tim. 2:24-25tlb

3. The skill of effective conflict resolution, successful negotiation and enhancing personal and professional relationship – 2 Tim. 2:25a ERV.

4. The skill of understanding the emotions of others and are also in control of your emotions and responses.

5. The wisdom of knowing why people behave the way they do

6. The skillfull wisdom of understanding different point of views and knowing how to respond to conflicting situation, with wisdom, composure and calmness – Jn 8:1-10

7. The ability to be authentic i.e. one who portrays genuine emotions for people and wants to really help others. Rom 12:9-10 NLT

8. The ability to differentiate between people who are genuinely hurt or sincere about their emotions and those who are looking for an excuse to make you feel bad – 1 kgs. 3:9 NIV

9. The skill of using words with all tact and wisdom – Col. 4:6 MSG. Note that fruitfulness is not solely judged by what he owns but how much impact he makes in his world

Being socially intelligent is one of the pathways to achieving this fruitfulness (apart from having the God-life in a man). We must be able to translate this life to our world by being socially intelligent – Matt 5:13-16

How to develop social intelligence

1. Abiding and growing in Christ – John 15.

2. Know, understand, appreciate yourself – personality, temperament, strengths, looks, etc. Psalms 139: 14

3. Focus on your strength and abilities rather than your weaknesses and inabilities when relating with others

4. Never talk yourself down. A healthy self-worth will give birth to a healthy social intelligence.

5. In communication, focus more on the other person. Joseph did that.

6. Be a good listener

7. Learn to communicate well, either verbally or non-verbally

8.  Learn body languages

9. Apologize freely and sincerely

10. Maintain a happy state always

11. Spend more time with boosters rather than drainers

12. Share experiences

13. Invest in relationships

14. Study more. Knowledge will boost your social intelligence.

Factors that affect social intelligence

1. Abuse, neglect, bad childhood

2. Pride

3. Timidity /shyness

4. Low self esteem

5. Wrong company

6. Past experiences that are hurtful and held onto.

Post Author: Mr. Admin

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